Dear Alyssa,
My friends keep hanging out and not inviting me, but whenever I ask them about it they deny it. What should I do?
-Girl Excluded
Dear Excluded,
At some point in your high school career, you are sure to come across some “friend” problems. Whether it’s one person, or a group of people, you are bound to drift apart or get in some kind of altercation.
If there’s one thing I really dislike, it’s making people feel excluded- which is what your friends appear to be doing here. Being excluded is something that no one wants because it truly does hurt. Real friends would not intentionally try to make you feel like this.
It seems like you have already taken the first step in solving this issue. You’ve asked them about it, on multiple occasions, but they continue to treat you this way. From what I can see, these are people you really shouldn’t want to be friends with.
I understand that it is hard to walk away from the people you’re comfortable with, but it is unfair that you have to feel this way. True friends should always be honest with you and tell you why they’re excluding you. I’d suggest asking them about it just one more time; if they do not answer truthfully, it’s time to make a change. Tell them how you feel. If they aren’t sympathetic to you, or try to make things right, there’s no point in holding on to that type of friendship.
Yours truly,
Alyssa
Dear Alyssa,
My best friend is a senior and she’s going away to college. I feel like we won’t talk or hangout like we used to. I really don’t want to lose her as a friend. What should I do?
-Friend Frazzled
Dear Frazzled,
Losing friends is something that nobody wants to go through. Having to let go of the fun times and memories with that person can be very difficult. Whether they’re moving away, or you just drift apart, it’s tough to move on.
You are in the better position of the two. It seems like you and your friend are still very close. This doesn’t have to change just because she’s going to college. Sure, it will be hard not having her around anymore, but there’s so many ways to get around this distance.
Your relationship doesn’t have to stop just because she’s going away. There are still plenty of ways for you to communicate with each other, no matter how far away you are. Texting her will still be the same. You can still check in with each other every day, or facetime when you want to actually see each other. There’s also the option of visiting her and when she comes home for breaks, you’ll see her then.
Keeping up this friendship not as difficult as it seems right now. You make time for the important people in your life. If she wants to be in your life, and you want to be in hers, then you guys will make sure you do that. Yes, things will be different. You’ll both make new friends and hang out with other people, but your relationship won’t change because of that. I think your relationship will be just fine.
Yours Truly,
Alyssa
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